Amerika

I have a gift for mimicking the accents of others. I do it all the time. To the delight of my wife, who is a fine mimic, in her own right. Among our many and varied talents, this, I suppose, is about the silliest, and least productive. But it can certainly be a lot of fun.

Among my repertoire of unlikely, and often almost incomprehensible dialects, is the accent of Northern Ireland. Which, as anyone who has heard it will know, is almost impossible to emulate. Which makes it altogether fine.
Though it is not always the accent itself, as much as the current phrases that are used: unfamiliar and odd, that entertain. One of my favorites is:
“What is he like?” Meaning – more or less – “My God! What a weirdo!”
Pronounced something along the lines of:
“whAAAOt as hei lAIIIke..?”

Well? What is he like? And while we’re at it: what are you like. And being as how this is where we are: what are they like?

What do we stand for? Who knows? Who are “we”, anyway?
I have made an exhaustive study of me, so I am qualified to comment upon that.
I have also made an exhaustive study of them and that, so I have my observations to draw upon. So, before we all completely lose the plot…

What am I like?
I hold as being important, these attributes:
To be competent.
To be responsible.
To be truthful.
To be honorable.
To be observant.
To be considerate.
To be what I consider I need to be.
To be an efficient part of that which I am part-of.
To enjoy myself as much as possible, while manifesting these attributes.
In summary: to be the best I can be.

What are they like?
They display these attributes, whether or not they know it:
To be selfish, but not obviously appear to be.
To judge everyone, but to not obviously appear to be judgmental.
To suggest that everyone is guilty of what they, themselves are guilty of.
To never seek to consider, or understand, anything they do not like to hear.
To lie, without even being aware that they do so.
To hold nothing sacred.
To have loyalty only to themselves.
To have no fun at all, ever, under any circumstances.
To fail at everything as spectacularly as possible. Then…
In summary: to discover the best possible excuse.

However, I have not made anything like an exhaustive study of us, and so am not equipped to describe our attributes. And certainly not yours. Perhaps you would assist me?

What are you like?