Amerika

Modern society, with its rigid rules based on single factors, makes us feel confined and paranoid because we’re told we have freedom, but then each task has seemingly one right way to do it.

There’s always a path.

So for example, when we confront an obstacle like finding a career, most people give us worthless advice about education, certification and so on. That’s good for some; the real advice we need is knowledge that that’s one path of many.

For example, for some people, the answer is to skip all schooling and throw themselves into business ownership, and they’ll end up doing just as well if not better.

Here are some other solutions no one’s ready to think of that illustrate how many more options we have:

• Global warming. Carbon’s rising, temperatures are rising, we’re all going to be roasting. We need to cut back. Problem: the first world’s use is mostly its infrastructure, and it doesn’t want to give that up, especially for a third world that dwarfs it and is just going to keep on breeding. Instead of buying green lightbulbs, let’s destroy China and Russia. This eliminates a huge swathe of consumers and carbon producers.
• Roman Polanski. We’re promised a big public drama over whether he’s persecuted or not. Hollywood says he’s a victim; the woman he paid a million dollars to forget him drugging, raping and sodomizing her says he should be forgiven. But to give up on him means flouting our law for a celebrity, and ignoring the need to promise good people that they will be protected and that bad people will go to jail. New solution: re-route his plane to Afghanistan and let the Taliban try him. Problem solved!
• Health Care. Lots of Americans lack health care. Most of us fear another government bureaucracy because those are inefficient, more stubbornly blind than private industry, and basically hire a lot of failures and jerks who make life hard for us. Solution: let the government buy health care from the biggest providers and negotiate a competitive rate, then sell it back to our citizens. People who are impoverished still don’t get a free ride, which discourages parasites, but it’s easily available.
• Glenn Beck. The left flips out about this guy, and most people on the right seem to love him. But being offended is a problem for leftists. The solution is simple: separate television networks. You can literally buy cable package Red State or Blue State. This way conservatives don’t need to see your demented drug-addicted whore actresses talking about how they love to have horse anal, and liberals don’t need to see Glenn Beck talking about how inane liberalism is.
• Drug Policy. Legalize the stuff in Northern California, where all the good liberals live. Send all drug users there. Let’s see what happens. Who cares, really?
• Drunk Driving. Legalize it. Sure, go ahead. Let them drive drunk. But if they cause an accident, make it clear that alcohol doesn’t let them off the hook — and in fact will probably result in a speedy conviction. Then finally do what America has resisted for years: start yanking the licenses of incompetent drivers whether they need to drive to get to work or not.
• Crime. We can’t get over the mentality of rehabilitation, so we jail people, let them out and then watch helplessly as they commit more crimes. Exile them all to a city in the desert of Nevada instead, and let them victimize each other.
• National Debt. Our national debt freaks people out. We know we cannot pay it and that it devalues our currency. If we really care, we could always drop all government programs but the utterly essential until it’s paid off.
• Gay Marriage. What gays want is basically health care and the tax breaks for being married. Great, let’s give it to them. However, we should penalize those who divorce for wasting time and money with their neurotic drama. You get tax breaks when married, and you should pay a heavy penalty when you get divorced. In addition, we should create a “virtual child” that gay married people should be forced to support with alimony. Justice is equal treatment, after all.

Some of these solutions may be tongue in cheek, but the point is made: we’re thinking in the box and it makes us sick in our hearts and minds. We need to think outside of the box, which means sacrificing sacred cows and aggressively getting effective.

How could we be afraid of that?