Amerika

I consider myself a traditionalist in that I believe in traditional demographics, culture, marriage, living and morality. I am skeptical about economic liberalism, multiculturalism, mass immigration, materialism, consumerism, “equality” and their gender-related offspring: feminism.

My upbringing occurred at the hands of an ultra-liberal mother and an ultra-conservative father. My mother, an Atheist, taught me to believe in women’s rights, equality, and tolerance. My father a Lutheran, taught me the value of faith, folk and family. They quarreled often: my father ranted about how women shouldn’t be allowed to drive or vote, my mother laughed him off as too cranky. My mother went on about tolerance and diversity, yet has never dated anyone but white men. My father however, has dated a multitude of ethnicities, and was skeptical about the long term prospects.

I tended to take my mother’s side at first, naturally, because I was inexperienced in the world. My father’s anger at being a marginalized white Christian male struck my indoctrinated mind as stodgy and old fashioned. In time, my father’s frustrations became exceedingly clear to me. I entered the same field he did — within the ultra left wing of the art world — and from the beginning, I became radically angry at the liberalism imposed on me. For simply being masculine and daring, I was castigated as a typical “macho” guy. Despite my liberal views, my masculinity was far too threatening.

I eventually grew to realize that liberalism is inherently incompatible with a stable society and rebelled against it, first by venturing into extremism but later by moderating my angry young man tendencies and pulling from my time as an extremist valuable ideals. I realized, almost too late, that the only way to counteract my frustration was to find myself in tradition. By trying to live a more traditional and spiritually active life, I gradually saw that the idea of the family, children, a loving wife, and belief in God are wholesome things that bond us to life. The traditional masculine and feminine archetypes for man and woman are harmonizing things not oppositional ones. Being a strong man, and having a beautiful and caring woman, is the path to happiness and stability in our society.

There was just one glitch: believing this way is not tolerated in today’s society.

I used to support feminism, because I bought into the idea that women were “oppressed” in our society, but this is largely untrue. The state is on their side for virtually everything, providing subsidized health care, aid for their children so they do not need a man, abortion on demand without the father’s consent, coercive enforcement of child support payments and alimony sometimes even if the woman made more than the man. Our media-driven culture tells women it is good to be strong, independent and smart, while it tells men to know their place, not act rude, and stay in line.

To further complicate the issue, American men are still expected by American women to pay for things, be chivalrous, be manly, but also be sensitive, caring, understanding and docile, but exciting and strong. These contradictions are supported and enforced by the movies and TV we watch and popular tropes in literature and news media. Women may or may not have had legitimate grievances, but the pendulum has swung back too far in the other direction.

But men also need to accept our own hand in the way things have gone. We often live a life of easy sex and drinking instead of trying to start a family, and so women are less likely to enter long-term relationships with us. Even though women have more control over entry into relationships, many men also don’t care about the long term anymore; they buy into today only. They focus on sex alone and ignore a woman’s contributions to our society. This is every bit as much chauvinism as the worst “Mad Men” portrayal of lewd office behavior.

We cannot rebuild or reclaim a traditional society without the family, and there is no family without the woman. I have met many traditional women that are beautiful and intelligent and truly inspiring. They are good-hearted, loving caring people who want families and want our traditional culture and our traditional world back. We need a harmony between the sexes instead of another battle. Men do not need to simply dominate women; we need to work with them to reclaim our birthright.

We blame women for the damages of feminism far too often. The situation is much more complex than that. The traditional world had many strong females who were still feminine. Crass, male chauvinist rhetoric disgusts me just as much as women acting like men and justifying their grotesque physiques or grating personalities. But “feminist” men who simply use women for disposable sex are just as biased. Chauvinism of either sort isn’t the answer.

Working together is.

Tags: culture war, family-centric, gender roles, traditionalism