Amerika

I found this charming link floating around on a BBS for masturbating metalheads (metal is a genre that’s 99% loser and 1% beyond genius). It’s part of that wonderful aspect of American “culture” that says, “If your life sucks, but you talk to enough people about it, it will be just like a movie and you won’t be alone feeling like a loser.” So since you’re getting hired for $6.50 an hour to hand out pudwhack material to degenerates, you should at least celebrate that fact and whine “creatively” to others. One can just hear the muffled revengeful pretense of self-importance beginning to rise…

My position on porn is that I’m fine with whatever floats your boat, as long as
everyone involved is a consenting adult. Manga throws both of those rules out the
window. Sure, all the boxes claim that all the characters are at least 18, but a lot
of them are clearly drawn to look about 12. And there’s a lot of raping. Not
just run-of-the-mill raping, either – we’re talking about triple-penetration rape by demons.

I consider myself a first-amendment feminist, but to be honest the anime section
really makes me wrestle with that sometimes. And guys that rent the entire La Blue
Girl series all at once (check out the box cover sometimes and you’ll see what I
mean) freak me out even worse than the guys who rent the Animal Trainer series.

How precious. The open-minded feminist is offended by nothing except that which offends her, and is busy in self-congratulatory mode thanking herself for being so liberal and accepting. This spectacular display of feminized logic culminates in her extensively complaining, throughout the site, about the types of people with whom she has to deal.

Lots of people are hung up on a particular race, or a particular racial combination, and many straight men are pretty specific about breast size (The Nice Rack series and the Itty Bitty Titty series seem to rent fairly evenly). The most common fetish, if you can call something so common a fetish, is for borderline jailbait. This is true of both straight and gay porn. The gay series to watch are Eighteen Today, Just 18 and Gay and First Time Tryers. The straight series are Bring ‘Em Young, Barely Legal, and, horrifyingly, Faces with Braces. We actually have a guy who vets all our videos and makes sure that nobody is under 18, but still, guys who bring a stack of those up to the counter make me want to hiss and warn them away
from my little sisters. And it’s never the 21-year-olds who rent Barely Legal, it’s always the 45-and-ups. Gah. The 21-year-olds do occasionally rent the one Older Women, Hotter Sex video we have. I approve of this, in a shocking display of my own personal prejudices.

Let me get this straight… you work in a shop that sells fucked up, blown out, twisted pornography and you’re surprised or concerned that the customers are blown out, fucked up, twisted losers? These are people who spend by her own admission thousands of dollars in the store. They are return visitors. They are successful enough in society, but have some grotesque fetish in common that makes them seek out video – lots of it – for masturbatory purposes. Our good liberal side says that everyone is equal, and therefore this is just a lifestyle choice, but anyone with a brain notes that one’s lifestyle choices define what one is and/or becomes. There’s no point to pretending that some guy renting $2,500 of porn a year is on the same level of stability as some guy with a house and family who periodically on a lazy Sunday jerks off to the smug looking supermodels in the latest Martha Stewart home living catalog. It’s sort of like expecting people who use heroin to be as stable as some guy buying aspirin for the family. The good liberal rejoinder is, “Oh, but the normal looking people can be fucked up *inside* as well,” — while there’s no “normal” and the well-adjusted looking can conceal the twisted, it is far less likely than the twisted enclosing the twisted, which is the case of most people entering porn video stores.

My advice to foolish feminized, liberalized, “open-minded” chickie: realize you can get $6.50 an hour working almost anywhere, and acknowledge your own perversity. You’re fucked up like your customers, and your job – like your politics – is just a personal identity fetish. Get someone to film you renting and self-righteously typing out your diatribes, and maybe some broken, self-pitying slob like yourself will rent it.

I get sort of conflicted about throwing kids and teenagers out of the porn section. I really don’t want them down there, not because I think sex is dirty or bad, but because I don’t want them to think that that’s what sex is about. The stuff on our boxes is sex in the basest, sometimes most brutal terms – naked women spreading their relevant orifices and making that Porn Face. Unless you’re talking about the Max Hardcore series, which involves women with “SLUT” and “WHORE” written across their foreheads in lipstick. And besides – do we really need to raise another generation of men who can’t deal with pubic hair?

I always want to debrief them. “Hey, guys, it’s cool that you’re curious, but this isn’t the way to find out. Porn is fine, but it’s not real sex. Real sex is great, and even good girls love it, but it has to be a two-way street…” But I always just end up with “Sorry, guys – come back when you’re 21.” Perhaps I should write a children’s book. Porn Is Healthy and Fine, but Only as a Temporary Physical Release.