Amerika

Let’s just skip the hagiography here and cut to the sordid chase. Congressman John Lewis (D-GA), Civil Rights Era Dominus et Deus, refuses to consider any president who doesn’t share both his politics and pigmentation as legitimate.

That is certainly the Good Congressman’s right. There is no anti-rectal orifice statue in the current United States Code. He can spew in accordance with his fundamental nature for as long as a sychophantic chap with a microphone and a camcorder chooses to recording his inane ramblings for media publication. Besides, he brings up a good point. I worry about illegitimately elected leaders.

I simply differ from Conggressman Lewis and surprisingly concur wholeheartedly with Former Attorney General Eric Holder as to which of our three branches of government has been most despoiled by the spectre of political bastardy. I agree with him that the methods by which Congressional Districts are drawn to stifle the will of the voters. I further agree that this process gives an unfair mathematical edge to the So-Called Republican Party.

So given that I feel Mr. Holder’s pain and that “Illegitimi non carborundum” has always been one of my favorite lines of Classical World graffiti, I’m here with a set of suggestions as to how we could go about preventing our Congress from continuing to elect people who tour JPL and ask if the Mars Pathfinder took a photo of the flag that the astronauts put up in 1969.

Step 1 is to get rid of all of the mandates that force state legislatures to draw up convoluted districts that are mathematically inclined to elect more Republicans in larger states. This would involve repealing several relevant portions of The Voting Rights Act. This legislation requires the creation of electoral districts that concentrate minority voting power. This concentrates the votes of highly partisan Democrats into fewer districts.

This causes these districts to lose any semblance of quality control in who they send to Congress. This gave The Great State of Texas The Infamous She-Jack. It gave The Great State of Virginia the Moran its Northern Counties truly deserve. It gave Oregon Fake War Hero Wes Cooley. Congress has become a plush refuge for scoundrels.

Step 2 would be to mathematically limit the number of rigged districts that are possible. Take the operations research hours and massive computing power that both parties in our national duopoly and spend them on unrigging the system instead. Force each state to form their districts out of identically-shaped exterior polygons of variable size but identical population. This would get rid of districts that cherry-pick through non-contiguity.

So here’s your to-do list Mr. Holder. Get rid of the stipulations in The Voting Rights Acts that force a major deficit of diversity in so many Congressional districts. Make the state legislatures stop finding ways to draw non-contiguous districts to cherry-pick which neighborhoods vote in which district. Do that, Eric, and you’ll totally put a cork in the bastards. Why do I have these lingering doubts that you would never let these two proposals see the light of day?

Tags: diversity, gerrymandering, john lewis, voting rights act