Amerika

Hi, I’m Brett Stevens and I’m running for President in 2012.

This country needs a breath of fresh air that isn’t catering to entrenched interests. Unfortunately, those exist on both left and right, and we keep doing things the same old way — such that even our hope/change guy ends up doing that.

However, if a candidate were to declare his or her intentions before taking office, and then limit him or herself to applying those items, this system could be altered from within, avoiding messy revolutions and more tiresome bloviation.

Here’s my platform:

• Universal education. As far as you excel, we pay for your education in the form of scholarships. In return, if you take a scholarship, you pay a 1% salary tax per year into the scholarship fund, which is invested by private industry.
• Competitive education. Special education students go to separate schools; discipline problems go to vocational schools; at age 16, any student can opt for vocational education or dropping out. Schools will teach to students’ level, starting from the most competitive. Gifted and talented programs are essential.
• Cradle-to-grave. All products to be sold in the USA, whether foreign or domestic, must have a sponsoring agency that will recycle them fully upon receipt. Recycling costs are tax-deductible.
• Illegals remain illegal. Mandatory conscription for any illegal aliens caught in the USA, whether to military or labor force to clean up countryside. No birthright citizenship.
• Conservation. All undeveloped land can be purchased under eminent domain and kept in natural state; any area designated a ghetto will be assigned 24-7 police patrols and residents removed.
• Citizenship as a right. Those who commit three or more serious crimes will, in return for halving of their sentences, be deported to Somalia or other failed states.
• Nuclear deterrent. Any new nation developing nuclear technology will be considered a threat and possibly subjugated.
• Pollution. All polluted land will be seized and cleaned, if possible at the expense of those who polluted it. Cradle-to-grave required for known polluters like factories and dry cleaners. Pollution becomes a federal crime and civil penalty.
• Organized crime. Amnesty for all organized crime and efforts made to transition them to legitimate business; after that, expanded powers to pursue organized crime syndicates only.
• Patriot act. We will rescind the Patriot Act and not monitor communications within the USA unless connected to a convicted criminal with known ties to organized, foreign terrorist organizations.
• Courts cleaned up. Frivolous lawsuits will become a civil penalty and we will sue those who perpetrate them. Court dockets will be expedited through removal of frivolous cases, and speedy prosecution of outstanding criminal cases. Appeals will be limited.
• Littering. This will become a federal crime punished by five years in prison.
• Corruption. Internal task force will be created that receives funding per legitimate conviction, and will report to no other government agency. Lobbyists barred from Washington, and all pork projects must pass vetting procedure; no more “riders” on bills that enable pork projects.
• Religion. Government will stay out of all religious enterprise, and will take official view that science and religion are compatible and that evolution is the work of God. We will teach both as theories.
• Abortion and drugs. Per our States Rights view, we will allow individual states to make these decisions.
• End the fed, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Government will not regulate markets except to enforce laws against known destructive practices, including a reduced definition of antitrust activity.
• Affirmative action. Because a person can both be from a minority group, and be a bad hire/renter, we view this as bad law and will rescind it in all its forms.
• Endangered species and emissions. Regulation will not occur through a separate agency, but be part of the licensing process for any new construction or business.
• Single government offices. In every major city, a single government complex will be established with all state, local and government transactions to be done in a timely manner through a single interface.
• Job insurance. Welfare programs will be abolished and replaced with job insurance. If you lose your job or your self-employment goes bankrupt, you get a year of your previous salary by tax return, more if there is a recession (President can declare state of emergency).
• Flat tax rate. All citizens will be taxed at a 28% flat rate, with negative income tax for those below the poverty level. Estate taxes abolished. Capital gains tax abolished and replaced with a realization tax on investments converted into cash.
• Nationalism. Politically, we will recognize each ethnic group abroad and at home as an independent entity. In addition, we will offer $41,000 one-time payment to any people who wish to be re-patriated to their ethnic homelands, provided they are in the country legally.
• Media tax. Any cash-producing media will be taxed at a rate increasing with its distribution, so that those that are most widely viewed are taxed the most.
• Reform of sex offender laws. Laws will be re-written to make it clear they are designed to protect children against adults who habitually prey on children, not people within a five-year age range engaged in consensual behavior.
• Common-law marriage and civil union. Healthcare will be privatized and bought competitively; industry will be effectively de-regulated, with efforts going into removal of habitual offenders instead. Citizens can purchase healthcare from this government fund. Common law marriage, or cohabitation for five years, and civil union between any two human individuals, will be recognized as legally equivalent to marriage for healthcare purposes.

You can see that although there would be many changes, the fundamental fabric of life in these United States wouldn’t change much. It’d just be cleaned up, made Green in a meaningful way, and made more efficient. All 500 of you who’d vote for me, raise your hands — and spread the word.