Amerika

Why A Crazy Rightist Might Have Sent Them
Stay tuned for Theory #2: Why Some Lefty Might Have Sent Them

Someone mailed bombs to a number of Leftists and yet these bombs all failed to go off, or even be in a state where they could detonate. My apologies if being repetitive represents a poor writing technique. My immediate question wasn’t “Are the dearies Ok?” It was more along the lines of an epitaph that supposedly graced a tombstone up on an Old West Boot Hill. “He kept on asking for it until he got it.” Of course they didn’t really get it. They got the Obama Stimulus Plan equivalent of terrorist mail bombs. Like the Obama Stimulus Plan, they got lots of media and had no legitimate positive effect.

This is truly the work of a saboteur or an idiot. If it were a Rightist, it was an idiot. But even an idiot has somewhat cogent reasons. Here are my hypothetical reasons for why the dumbest Right-Winger in Amerika would have sent the bombas to The Obamas.

1. The Right is often infected with Crowdism just like the Left. If you have to tolerate a Democracy, you can only survive in one by whipping up your own mob. You do this with martial rhetoric. Most of us understand that a politician telling us to take it to the street isnt telling us to take an AR-15 with a fixed bayonet to the street. A resonable person understands metaphoric rhetoric. If every Barack Obama voter in my place of employment had gotten in my face back in 2008, then I wouldn’t have much of a face left still attached to my skull. But what about the bottom 5% of either party’s bell curve?
2. You get the effort to stoke people’s aggression on both sides. It gets paranoid. Particularly when one individual in particular has a rhetorical history worthy of Eichmann cheerleading for a new holocaust. There can be no civility until her side wins. Female Caligula said this herself. I can see some over-eager moron saying “I gots your civility right here! It’s waiting to go kaboom like the back of Vince Foster’s head, biotch. Look what just arrived in your basket of deplorables you crazy, toxic Slot!” Hillary inspires hatred as if it was wired into her autonomous nervous system. Watch Hillary speak for five minutes and you’ll wish that Beat The Bitch was more than just a weird variant of Five Card Draw.
3. Part and parcel with this bomber being of badly dysgenic breeding stock, absolutely none of the actual parcels have successfully gotten near a target. John Brennan doesn’t even work at CNN. Michelle and Bill are in the same zip code as their marital partners as infrequently as an Alabama snow blizzard. Blowing up Debbie Down-Syndrome Wassermann – Schultz would fractionally raise the IQ of The Great State of Florida. Ditto Maxine Waters and The Great State (Of Mind) of California.

You couldn’t possibly mail a bomb to a billionaire crazy paranoid like George Soros unless you mail it from the underbelly of a Stealth Bomber. Ditto Robert DiNero. Famous people are very selective about how they interact with the outside world. You don’t have to be Howard Hughes to not like everything that is out there. If the bomber is a Rightist, then she/he/it has the proximate IQ of a rotifer drying out on the sidewalk after a thunderstorm. But we’ve all met truly stupid people of every political persuasion. In a Democracy, five or six smart people need to attract a crowd of Fity or Sixty Million to win. In that crowd of Sixty Million the bottom 500,000 are going to be lower than whale crap descending The Marianas Trench.

So in conclusion, there is non-zero probability that a Right-Winger did it. Since the bombs didn’t go off and guaruntee a socialist landslide in the 2018 midterms, I can genuinely sorry for the pathetic son of a bitch who gave the left this talking point. What do we learn from this particular episode of Amerika as The Jerry Springer Show?

1. Democracy inflates grievances against others. True believers fetishize people on their side and demonize the others. Democracy = Gnotiscism which can equal a one-way ticket straight to hell.
2. Stupid people take mataphoric language literally. Tell them so-and-so is literally Hitler, they’ll ask to see the Argentinian Passport he snuck in under. People actually think Joe Biden meant slavery would return when he talked about Mitt Romney putting people in chains.
3. Moral boundaries that used to keep stupid, aggressive losers in check are gone. The Church of The Ten Sugestions will not provide an adequate level of moral suasion to prevent vendetta from occurring.
4. Some moron with a Maga Hat may well have beclowned himself in a manner that befits the next guest star on a episode of Cops. Seriously, let us all be thankful that criminal minds are often also defective ones.

Tags: bombings, bombs, democrats, rotifers