Amerika

In A.D. 2020, a whole lot people got very, very dead from COVID and comorbities. But mostly from the comorbidities. So how did all these tragedies occur? The CDC made it happen.

Had the CDC used its industry standard, Medical Examiners’ and Coroners’ Handbook on Death Registration and Fetal Death Reporting Revision 2003, as it has for all other causes of death for the last 17 years, the COVID-19 fatality count would be approximately 90.2% lower than it currently is.

As of 25 January 2021, the Amerikan COVID Death Odometer (ACDO) had spun all the way up to 353,975. This out of a total national death toll of 3,376,229. This would mean that about 10.5% of all US deaths in 2020 were from COVID-19. So the CDC was like a mentally deficient used car dealer. They manually torqued the odometer. It was just in the opposite direction of what you’d get expect from Crazy Louie’s Ramblin’ Wrecks.

So what happens if we undo the iniquitous statistical prestidigitation? Mr. Kurtz, he dead. And so are 3,379,228 of his bros. The total subset of fatalities can’t be changed. What gets changed is how they got to such an unfortunate state. 38,229 represents 10.8% of 353,975. It would also represent 1.1% of the fatalities in 2019. In other words, if COVID-19 did not exist anywhere except in a fantasy role-playing game, 3,340,999 Amerikans would have departed the terrestrial plane.

1.1% of an entire year’s death toll isn’t peanuts. This is about three times the lethality experienced from drunk driving. That being said, it won’t swing any Presidential Election. Nor will it raise the CDCs budget from $8B to $46B.

But now, the worm has turned. The China Virus has won its election and served its purpose. So just how does one get rid of this horrible disease? We go back to the good old days. We just count the cause of death from every cause the same way. Just like the CDC used to for almost 20 years until a political faction needed a killer issue to win a big election.

Chop 90% off the COVID-19 death toll, and Chuck Todd will absolutely have to take notice of who the new POTUS is. It would be his duty as a professional journalist. Drop that death toll from 354K to 38K, and it’s just storybook, Man. Storybook like 1984.

Or perhaps it’s just textbook. The textbook would be pretty cheap and easy to read. You can blow right through How to Lie with Statistics in just a few reasonably focused hours.

One example, what could be called mindless extrapolation, was cited by sociologist Joel Best in his book, Damned Lies and Statistics. Best was startled to find this statistic in a reputable journal in 1995: “Every year since 1950, the number of children gunned down has doubled.” How could this be? Best did a simple calculation. Even if there were only one child “gunned down” in 1950, by 1995 the number of doublings would have amounted to 35 trillion, truly an alarming statistic.

An honest mathematician enjoys How to Lie with Statistics. It’s a good read worth more than one chuckle. But only a scumbag mathematician would use it as a how-to manual. Guess which type Mr. Biden will be hiring at the CDC. Like a magical puff of smoke from Hunter’s crack pipe, COVID-19 will just blow away on the winds. Storybook, Man.